Saturday, March 29, 2008

Email Forwards That Make Me Scream

I have a young teen relative - we'll call her Shelly - who forwards lots of emails with pictures of kitties and inspirational messages about cancer-ridden four year olds who don't want you to speed because their dad was a cop. Or a drunk. Or something. I usually ignore and delete these, often without opening them at all.

I made the mistake of reading this one when she sent it in January (long, feel free to skim):

Subject: How Ironic!!! - Makes You Think!!!

Very interesting.

KNOW THESE FACTS? I SURE DIDNT TILL NOW

Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!

Make a personal reflection about this..... Very interesting, read until the end..... It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): 'Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Here are some men and women who mocked God :

John Lennon (Singer): Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

'Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple,Today we are more famous than Him' (1966). Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

Tancredo Neves(President of Brazil ): During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a d ay bef ore being made President, then he died.

Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet): During A show in Canecio (Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: 'God, that's for you.' He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: 'Not even God can sink it'. The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

Marilyn Monroe(Actress) She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: 'I don't need your Jesus'. A week later, she was found dead in her apartment .

Bon Scott (Singer) The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang : 'Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'. On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005) In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend..... The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: 'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You..' She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full ' Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact. The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken

Christine Hewitt(Jamaican Journalist and entertainer) said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written. In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle ..

Many m ore important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.

Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive .

'Jesus'

P.S: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?.

I have done my part, Jesus said 'If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'

You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!

I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.' Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!

'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen.'

Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}. AND let God bless you.
Ok, ignoring how ridiculous email forwards are to begin with, and how this IS a kid sending this along (she didn't write it)...I still have to scream. And maybe do some small violence to something.

There. Now. I was very nice to Shelly, and nicely said don't send me this shit. To YOU I get to say, holy shit, this is the kind of superstitious claptrap that gets pushed around the holy circles. Don't blaspheme or the boogyma...er, GOD will FUCKING KILL YOU. And oh, God bless.

One thing I love is how these emails get screwed up along the way, too. I didn't resaerch each ridiculous claim (I'm sure many of these deaths happened months if not years after the purported blaspheme), but I did a few.

Lennon DID comment in 1966, but the exact quote (given by brainyquote.com) is "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity." The idea that God sent a random asshole to gun this man down for saying this is horrifically offensive. It's belittling. It's schadenfreud.

historyonthenet.com says, of the Titanic quote: '"God himself could not sink this ship!" This quotation, made famous by Cameron's film, is reputed to have been the answer given by a deck hand when asked if Titanic was really unsinkable.'

God's a fucking shit if he killed most of a shipload of people because a fucking deck hand made a bad joke at His expense.

And I couldn't find anything at all reputable about the Marylin Monroe quote. You guys are just making stuff up out of whole cloth now, aren't you?

Anyway, you get the idea. This is pure childhood boogyman talk, and it's what most of the more sophisticated stuff boils down to, too. God is Love, God is Love, God will GET YOU God will GET YOU...

1 comment:

atheist girl said...

this is a great post. those forwards really piss me off too. i think that is why there are so many christians sometimes. they scare kids into believing. it is brainwashing to an extent. ps...thanks for adding me to your blog