Monday, March 31, 2008

Article of the Day: Anti-Muslim Film

And There you go.

Please Don't Bless the Children

Man, I just can't shut up today.

Years ago I took a solo trip to Rocky Mountain National Park. After settling in, I spent two days backwoods hiking and camping. Then, having nearly crippled myself with overstepping my abilities, I rested and took very LEISURELY solo hikes and guided tours. On one tour, the park ranger was giving an excellent talk about the local trees, insects, and the formation of the land over the this mountain was formed thusly, and that valley was carved from slow-moving glaciers. I was fascinated. The image of a super slow-motion mountain of ice scooping up boulders, using them to gouge long furrows in the stone mountain, grinding them into dust. If you will: I dig rocks.

That trip stands out in my memory for its own reasons, but that TOUR stands out in my memory because of a family that was in the group. Mom, Dad, baby and one or two little kids. As the ranger was pointing out a glacier carved valley, Dad turned to his young son and said, "Now son, glaciers didn't carve that mountain. Who did?" "God!", said the dutiful son.

Indoctrination. Teach your children to deny and ignore the wonder of the natural world in favor of a limited, fallacious fairytale.

This all comes up because I'm finally gettng round to reading Richard Dawkins' book The God Delusion. (And by the way, if you happen to click the book link, be sure to read Harvey Ardman's review. It's simply marvelous.) In the introduction, Dawkins says this:

Just as feminists wince when they hear "he" rather than "he or she", or "man" rather than "human", I want everybody to flinch whenever we hear a phrase such as "Cahotlic child" or "Muslim child". Seak of a "child of Catholic parents" if you like; but if you hear anybody speak of a "Catholic child", stop them and politely point out tht children are too young to know where they stand on such issues, jus as they are too young to know where they stand on economics or politics. ... You can't say it too often. I'll say it again. That is not a Muslim child, but a child of Muslim parents. That child is too you ng to know whether it is a Muslim or not. There is no such thing as a Muslim child. There is no such thing as a Christian child.
This is exactly what I've been telling dear stepdaughter for quite a while now, when she comes home upset because her mother said the end of the world is imminent (that is, that dear daughter is GOING TO DIE, and that right soon). "Don't worry about it, honey. People believe different things, and you can decide what you want to believe again and again as you grow up, and after you're a grownup."


praiseNull is taking a test today. Let's all pray for...uh, wish him good lu...uhm, send him good, no. Keep him in our thoughts? Oh, hell with it. No, shit.

I've been thinking about how saturated the language is with religious and mystical language, more so since my 3 year old started saying Bless You when anyone sneezes. Now, no one around HERE says that. I say gesundheit. He must've picked it up at school.

But really. Hell in a handbasket, hell of a day, oh god, oh jesus, christ moveit already, bless you, hallelujia (used for all kinds of things non-goddy). Even "fuck", the big kahuna of swearing, had origin ties to religion:

The usually accepted first known occurrence is in code in a poem in a mixture of Latin and English composed some time before 1500. The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, "Flen flyys", from the first words of its opening line, "Flen, flyys, and freris" (= "Fleas, flies, and friars"). The line that contains fuck reads "Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk". Removing the substitution cipher[1] on the phrase "gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk" yields "non sunt in coeli, quia fvccant vvivys of heli", which translated means "they are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Ely" (fvccant is a fake Latin form).[2] The phrase was coded likely because it accused some Church personnel of misbehaving; it is uncertain to what extent the word "fuck" was considered acceptable at the time.
(Quoted from Wikipedia, and here's an article about the same thing)

Amazing, isn't it? The word we love the most, from the organization we like...well, maybe not the least - the Nazis, KKK, and NAMBLA are running a good race - but pretty close.

A web search on language and religion didn't net me much, but etymology "religious language" , amusingly, pointed me to the Atheism page of Wiki, but that's about it. I'll look more in depth later. But for now, this from Wiki-Atheism:
Logical positivism and scientism paved the way for neopositivism, analytical philosophy, structuralism, and naturalism. Neopositivism and analytical philosophy discarded classical rationalism and metaphysics in favor of strict empiricism and epistemological nominalism. Proponents such as Bertrand Russell emphatically rejected belief in God. In his early work, Ludwig Wittgenstein attempted to separate metaphysical and supernatural language from rational discourse. A. J. Ayer asserted the unverifiability and meaninglessness of religious statements, citing his adherence to the empirical sciences.

Edit: Well well well, Dawkins strikes again:
There is every reason to think that famous Einsteinisms like 'God is subtle but he is not malicious' or 'He does not play dice' or 'Did God have a choice in creating the Universe?' are pantheistic, not deistic, and certainly not theistic. 'God does not play dice' should be translated as "Randomness does not lie at the heart of all things.' 'Did God have a choice in creating the Universe?' means 'Could the universe have begun in any other way?' Einstein was using 'God' in a purely metaphorical, poetic sense. So is Stephen Hawking, and so are most of those physicists who occasionally slip into the language of religious metaphor.

My New Bible

I've had a wonder idea. I'm going to be writing a new bible. It was my last post that gave me the idea. So this is going to be a series of posts where I'm going to quote from my own scripture. I've got to follow a couple rules though now don't I?

1. Every passage has to teach a lesson about why you should follow God and obey his commands. This is imperative because afterall, it IS a bible.

2. It has to be as gruesome and inappropriate for not only the public, but also for the public at large as the bible. I'm not sure if I can match the repulsiveness of the real bible, but I'll give it a shot.

Now I need to name my new bible. I'm not sure what I should call it. Maybe just like the Lost Surfer Jesus scrolls or something. What do you guys think?

Anyway, here's another verse quoted directly from the bible of Surfer Jesus. This has always been one of my favorites.

SJ Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
And during pregnancy I will make you fat and undesirable to your husband.
And your anus will swell with hemorrhoids that crack and bleed until you
scream in pain.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.
And I shall put great priests to preside over the land and teach you my ways.
And they will have of your sons as they please. My priests will lay with your sons as men lay with women until their anuses ooze with the seed of one hundred nights of passion. The law of the land will be given to Satan and he shall make it against this law for my priests to desire the supple rounded flesh of your children with their soft, milky skin glistening in the alter light... those sweet, tight little a... oh... ummm.... But my church will protect the priests from these unholy laws for I have chosen this to be the way in which man shall redeem himself from your sin by eating the fruit."

This passage clearly shows a direct result for disobeying God. And if any of you ever doubt God's word, there is still plenty of proof of this around today. God commanded it, so shall it be done.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Article of the Day: Truth in Advertising!

"Business Owners, Customers Upset Over Controversial Billboard"

Frankly, I like this a whole lot better than the God speaks billboards.

Bonus actual headline: World doesn't end, Doomsday cult gives up

Double bonus: discussion on the fairy tales billboard.

I just can't stop adding to this: that Fark thread links to a neat YouTube video. I'm kinda too stupid to know if it's making fun of Dawkins/Atheism, religion, both or neither. But it's neato.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Lighter Side

How about a few god jokes? Mel Brooks is the king here.

I love this from History of the World Part I:

Comicus: The Christians are so poor...
Swiftus: How poor are they?
Comicus: Thank you. They are so poor... That they only have one God.
[drumbeat, everyone laughs]
Comicus: But we Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that's coming quickly.

And a great prayer from Blazing Saddles:
O Lord, do we have the strength to carry out this mighty task in one night? Or are we just jerking off?

Email Forwards That Make Me Scream

I have a young teen relative - we'll call her Shelly - who forwards lots of emails with pictures of kitties and inspirational messages about cancer-ridden four year olds who don't want you to speed because their dad was a cop. Or a drunk. Or something. I usually ignore and delete these, often without opening them at all.

I made the mistake of reading this one when she sent it in January (long, feel free to skim):

Subject: How Ironic!!! - Makes You Think!!!

Very interesting.


Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!

Make a personal reflection about this..... Very interesting, read until the end..... It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): 'Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Here are some men and women who mocked God :

John Lennon (Singer): Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

'Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple,Today we are more famous than Him' (1966). Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

Tancredo Neves(President of Brazil ): During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a d ay bef ore being made President, then he died.

Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet): During A show in Canecio (Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: 'God, that's for you.' He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: 'Not even God can sink it'. The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

Marilyn Monroe(Actress) She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: 'I don't need your Jesus'. A week later, she was found dead in her apartment .

Bon Scott (Singer) The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang : 'Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'. On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005) In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend..... The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: 'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You..' She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full ' Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact. The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken

Christine Hewitt(Jamaican Journalist and entertainer) said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written. In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle ..

Many m ore important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.

Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive .


P.S: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?.

I have done my part, Jesus said 'If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'

You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!

I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.' Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!

'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen.'

Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}. AND let God bless you.
Ok, ignoring how ridiculous email forwards are to begin with, and how this IS a kid sending this along (she didn't write it)...I still have to scream. And maybe do some small violence to something.

There. Now. I was very nice to Shelly, and nicely said don't send me this shit. To YOU I get to say, holy shit, this is the kind of superstitious claptrap that gets pushed around the holy circles. Don't blaspheme or the, GOD will FUCKING KILL YOU. And oh, God bless.

One thing I love is how these emails get screwed up along the way, too. I didn't resaerch each ridiculous claim (I'm sure many of these deaths happened months if not years after the purported blaspheme), but I did a few.

Lennon DID comment in 1966, but the exact quote (given by is "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity." The idea that God sent a random asshole to gun this man down for saying this is horrifically offensive. It's belittling. It's schadenfreud. says, of the Titanic quote: '"God himself could not sink this ship!" This quotation, made famous by Cameron's film, is reputed to have been the answer given by a deck hand when asked if Titanic was really unsinkable.'

God's a fucking shit if he killed most of a shipload of people because a fucking deck hand made a bad joke at His expense.

And I couldn't find anything at all reputable about the Marylin Monroe quote. You guys are just making stuff up out of whole cloth now, aren't you?

Anyway, you get the idea. This is pure childhood boogyman talk, and it's what most of the more sophisticated stuff boils down to, too. God is Love, God is Love, God will GET YOU God will GET YOU...

Friday, March 28, 2008

Extreme Christian Violence

One of the things that's always completely discredited religion for me is how hypocritical they are. And I realize I'm not saying anything new here, but since I've been a father (3x now) it's really been hitting me hard how xtians (or any religion) deals with violence.

It basically goes like this... xtians abhor any kind of violence, sex, language or any other kind of inappropriate material unless it's in the bible.
Again, my ex (the strict souther baptist and ex porn and titty dancer skank) has let my daughter see more rated R movies with more violent content than I would ever dream. Some of it she's let her see because she doesn't see anything wrong with it, and others because it was religious. Of course, the religious part was the showing of the Passion at her church. Of course, they didn't watch the whole thing, just the 20-something mins of torture. I'll tell you what... I don't give a fuck who's getting beaten, don't show it to my kid. And looking at some of the other verses in the bible it's some really sick shit. There was this one that one passage from Faithinate's last post:

EZEKIEL 23: "19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

Now, I don't care you who are; that's just fucking sick. And this is what they recommend our children read?

Here's my own bible verse. And it's ok because I'm talking about God and how he has saved us from sin.

And Jesus looked upon her to watch her bend over and take her lover's hard manhood inside her just as the devil had instructed her to do with the horse the time before. Then Satan whispered to Jesus, "You know, she looks like she could use a cock in her mouth." Jesus refused and admonished her as a filthy whore. She then, fully consumed by the devil, tempted Jesus by giving lay with another woman. She spread her legs and tongued her labia like a ripe mango. She then placed her tongue all the way inside the other woman's tail as the other woman screamed with in a Satanic voice. She then invited Jesus to join them promising him all the pleasures of both their bodies. Jesus again admonished her as a whore, then excused himself to reflect in private in the woods.

Hey, I could write a bible too as it turns out.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Mojoey's Atheist Blogroll

I added Mojoey's Atheist Blogroll to the right, but I'm not sure we're going to keep it there as it is very long and is custom javascript linking to another site which I am always a tad leery of.

But whether it stays there or simply remains as the above link it should be an interesting list to browse.

And I'm going to submit The God Dam to be on the blogroll.

Amused: Bible Verses

I'd forgotten all about Landover Baptist. Here are a few REAL Bible verses off of their swag, just for funsies:
Psalm 137: "8 O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is he who repays you
for what you have done to us-

9 he who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks."

Malachi 2: " 1 "And now this admonition is for you, O priests. 2 If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor my name," says the LORD Almighty, "I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not set your heart to honor me.

3 "Because of you I will rebuke your descendants; I will spread on your faces the offal from your festival sacrifices, and you will be carried off with it."

EZEKIEL 23: "19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

1 TIMOTHY 2: "11A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Arguing With God

Whew! I'm glad Faithinate posted a quickie so I wouldn't have three posts in a row.

I was just reading some other blogs and came across this exchange in the comments:

"interested": Rick I don't hate god. How can I hate something that does not exist.

"rick b": Well the Bible says you do hate God

I had an idea today of getting some plastic idol of some sort to wear on my shoulder; it would have a button to press to make it say "he's right". I would explain that it is my god and press the button to end any argument. Ok, pretty ridiculous, but is this not what many Christians do?

Odd that they can channel God's will but I can't. Odd further still that God's will always seems to work in their favor.

I just realized I am envisioning a blue monkey as my plastic idol. I'm not sure which shoulder, though. The monkey has a fair resemblance to Curious George.

Article of the Day: Prayer Booth

This is actually kinda funny.

Atheist Prayer

Surfer Jesus mentioned earlier that he and Faithinate both admit to praying. I do, too, and I am questioning myself about it. How can I pray if I don't believe in God?

Let's go back to when I started praying. The earliest I remember, I found that if I prayed to not have nightmares then I usually wouldn't. Later I was able--in-dream--to recognize that I was dreaming and pray to wake up, and I did actually wake up to escape a dream that was scary or had become tiresome.

I don't recall praying to a prophet or messiah like Jesus, but neither did I address God directly in my prayers. And I didn't envision a tangible being; it was more a prayer to whatever I don't understand. I didn't feel a relationship or a two-way conversation was happening, nor did I feel the touch of divinity.

But praying was actually useful in directing my dreams and sometimes settling my mind. Later after a couple of auto accidents I would pray to not get into a wreck, and sometimes if I'm anxious about something I pray that it will turn out "all right" without specific suggestion as to what is "all right".

So, what the hell am I doing? After pondering this a bit, I realize that prayer has been useful. I don't believe it is evidence for the existence of a deity. I think it has been a useful way to focus my thoughts in a direction I wanted to, in the same vein as meditating, saying affirmations, visualizing a desired outcome, etc.. As with many thoughts it is useful to have a way to structure them, and my emerging personal hypothesis is that these are all tools to focus the mind.

I have read that affirmations should be for a specific goal but not specify a specific route to the goal. I think avoiding nightmares and avoiding wrecks are two goals that I prayed for without specifying to avoid thinking about monsters or to remember to check my mirrors. But the goal was there, and I know my mind can work on a topic unconsciously while I think consciously on other topics, so perhaps this is how it works.

Anyway, whatever the deal is, I'm going to continue my prayers to nobody, but perhaps I'll check into other mind disciplines and see what I'm missing.

Parting thought: Even prayer doesn't need God! Go figure.

Believer on Atheist Dating

Pathetic godless being that I am, I sometimes put up profiles to online dating sites. Having recently admitted to myself that I am atheist it occurred to me to Google "atheist dating". Naturally I wasn't the first to think of this, and there are such sites that cater to atheists.

In the results was a column titled "Atheist Dating - Couples that Agree to Disagree Can Two Individuals Build a Lasting Relationship Based on 'doubt'...?" After my initial "WTF" I decided it would be interesting to check out his perspective. It is written by a married believer who joined an atheist dating site presumably for journalistic reasons and self-amusement.

First thing that surprised me--after the title--is that he censored "Free Thinker's" out of the site name. Is "Free Thinker" a Xtian curse? Oh yeah, I guess it is.

Here are a few quotes. I am surprised that he seems to think godlessness is cult-ish and baseless, but maybe I should stop being surprised.

An open door to a whole lot of people who are not to keen on organized religion, and for all I know are convinced that Marilyn Monroe was waxed by the CIA!
I guess it's hard for Believers to understand that nonbelievers are capable of forming independent opinions.
Because really, even if you’re an atheist you still have to eat. Right? You still go to movies. I’m pretty sure atheists like to have sex. If I found an atheist who can answer “yes” to those three questions, then right there I may have found a potential life-mate.
I wonder if he says a thankful prayer to God every time he takes a piss. Seriously, God is not necessary for a person to have emotion, values and relationships. He admits to having argued frequently with his previous girlfriend about God. Go figure.
It just seems like at the core of an atheist’s soul there is an overwhelming doubt that makes these individuals question EVERYTHING.
No, it's not doubt. It's curiosity, critical thinking and the realization that our beliefs aren't always right. Religious people change their beliefs periodically but don't admit it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Article for the Day: Big Poopy Atheists

Is Atheism Only a Bundle of Sentiments?

At the end of his review he thanked Dinesh for exposing atheism “more as a bundle of sentiments than a coherent doctrine.” My recent failed efforts to encourage campus debate with atheists have led me to believe that Snow might be on to something.
You say that like it's a bad thing. I'm being serious here...why do you HAVE to have an actual doctrine? I'm of the opinion that it's better to assume you DON'T know everything, and there's more to learn. A parallel: There are lots of good parents that agree on certain core things - love your kids, don't beat them (in short, Be Excellent Unto Them), but we couldn't be said to have a doctrine. And yet, we parent. And we're good.

But back to the article:
Because of my concern that Sociology of Religion could become a course in Sociology of Atheism I decided to set up a more balanced forum addressing the issue of faith and atheism. Specifically, I wanted to deal with the following question: “Which worldview requires more faith; a) Christianity or b) Atheism?”
Are you kidding me? OK, in the context of the full article, the guy IS trying to open a dialogue on religion/atheism with a colleague, so kudos to him. I'm all for talking. But again, it appears to me that we're making assumptions here that we shouldn't. Faith = good. Atheists have less faith than religious folk, therefore atheists are bad, religious folk are good. You, sir, are rigging the damn game.

And by the way, the point he's trying to address is that the professor in question (backed by the university) is unfairly promoting and teaching atheism at the expense of religion. To which I might answer, well sir, we're fighting millennia of favoritism and fanaticism toward the god/God side. It's about time to start the pendulum swinging the other way.

Or to put it another way, you don't get to pound god and damnation into people for thousands of years, and then cry foul when we want to change the subject.

I know that atheists are often very angry at the God they claim does not exist.
I suppose that's true for some people, absolutely. But then, to be a "real" atheist, you've gotta be pretty sure that such a being doesn't exist. I'm not mad at God in the least. I'm not mad at Satan. Nor the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Ceiling Cat, Ra, Santa and the Easter Bunny. It's kind of a non-issue.

What's got me pissed is the PEOPLE. The guy that wrote this article is a former atheist; I'm a former Christian. I WAS one of those assholes who used to tell you you'd better let Christ into your heart, your life was bad because you were rejecting your Heavenly Father (oh I had the rap down PAT, man), and the world was going to hell in a handbasket. (Why a handbasket, cousin? Because it would hurt more, you twit.)

Those are the people who piss me off now, now that I recognize how completely insufferable that kind of talk is. I don't like the arrogance, the ignorance, the narcissism. If the worst you can say about atheists in general - and I know it's not, fundies - is that they lack faith and are angry at God, well...I think we win.

I also understand why atheist professors would be unwilling to debate their reasons for rejecting religions like Christianity. Back in my days as an atheist, speaking truthfully on a panel would have required a public admission that I rejected Christianity largely because it would not have allowed me to continue getting drunk and high every night while splitting time between four girlfriends.
Well, aren't we shallow. We're implying, then, that atheists are only atheists for immorally selfish reasons. God forbid (ha!) we imply the inverse, that Christians are only Christians for selfish reasons. Hey, you get to socialize weekly, you get a group who's willing to help you in all kinds of difficulty, you get free babysitting, and you get to tap into the idea that the shit that happens isn't your fault, and indeed, couldn't be prevented no matter what's foreordained. And you get to put a two thousand year old stamp of approval on any random thought you have or action you take, by finding scripture that at least APPEARS, out of context and several translations later, to support you.

But back to the point; again, I'm sure some atheists are just Christians straining to burst free from their immoral ways. And some of us just think all that crap is bullshit, is hypocrisy, is control of the masses, is politics, is superstition. Even the good people today - and I do believe there are many who are actually good - who believe in God the Father et al are just making good on a system with a horrible history and purpose. I respect their beliefs, not because I agree, but because they live their lives happily and use what makes sense to THEM as tools for furthering their own way.

It's like Santa Clause. It's not true that there's a guy at the top of the world watching all the kids and making toys. But it's a neat IDEA, and it puts a face on the celebrating, the gift giving, and the morality we want our kids to be a part of. In my mind, a good Christian uses God as a mascot for what they already believe is right, not as a weapon to force others to live as they want them to.

Every Man's Heaven

So again, my daughter was talking to me last night that her mom says I'm going to hell because I don't believe in God.

Well of course I'm going to hell. You don't think I'd take a chance on running into her at all do you? Besides, could anyplace w/o my ex really be all that bad?

It's funny though... what different people call heaven. Some people have this very simplistic view of what heaven is. Heaven is just a Charmin commercial where you're surrounded by billows of soft white fluff. Others hold true to the belief that heaven is different for everyone. And of course if you're muslim it's a huge fucking orgy.

And from what I can tell, everyone has pretty much the same view of hell. It's always got fire in it and you're completely miserable. Let's not forget that fire was all they had when the bible was written and it's not even close to the worst thing you could come across anymore so it's really not that bad.

It strikes me that xtians have a really simplistic view of hell too. And from what I hear, so does God. Basically God thinks like the xtians. Hell is anyplace he's not. That's why he cast satan down to earth because w/o his glow anyone is doomed. Hey, we all like to think that's true about ourselves, but the truth is, satan's probably a lot happier w/o having to suck-up all the time. Yes God, you're the best. Yes God nobody can create a planet like you. Yes God, that's a fabulous souffle. Shit, I bet he's still enjoying the quiet.

That brings up a good point... is God a xtian? Does he follow his son too, or is God a Jew and he raised Jesus a Jew until he got old enough to start his own religion? Hmmm...

I've also heard that heven and hell are the same place. It's a place where truly good people can go to be truly good for eternity. But it's also a place where truly bad people go and where they can't do anything bad. And isn't that the worst hell of all... being surrounded by goodie-goodies and not being able to cause any trouble? I bet God shocks them if they don't praise his souffle too and that's gotta suck.

So it really doesn't matter where each one physically resides or if they're separate or not. The point is, I won't be in either place with my ex. It's actually logically impossible because her heaven would be somewhere without me. And my hell would be somewhere with her. So it's actually impossible for us to coexist in the afterlife too.
Ain't that a bitch?

Monday, March 24, 2008

Hypocricy in Everyday Life, and Other Questions

I guess I was thinking about Thanksgiving the other day because of praiseNull's holiday post. And that got me to thinking about watching football, baseball, all that. Now tell me, why exactly is it that we celebrate athletic excellence with fried food, alcohol, and general sloth? I realize that's not an atheist/religious question, but it certainly ties into human nature.

There's not a single thing we do together socially that involves a light meal and a quick jog around the block. That goes for Christians, too. They get out of church Sunday and then go gorge at Luby's or Cracker Barrel or what have you. Why is that?

Unrelated: Why is everything OLD necessarily WISE. "This is an OLD book, it must be very deep." Ok, so a few dozen generations got duped by this guy's writing. They believed that it was "turtles all the way down" for a while, there, too. It's like the Bible (Koran, what have you) is the WORST. URBAN LEGEND. EVAR. (Of course I'm going to pick on the Bible; I have issues with xtians. Couldn't you tell?)

A Pleasingly Secular Holiday Weekend

Through unanticipated timing of events I happened to be around nonreligious people all Easter weekend and was able to freely speak sarcastically of religion and Republicans with like-minded people. It was quite a treat for me as I've lived my entire adult life in solid "red states" smack dab in the Bible belt.

Friday I drove to a state park to meet up with someone I'd previously only known online. We saw the sights and talked politics and made fun of the border fence and the blindly faithful.

Saturday and Sunday we celebrated a birthday for an out-of-country relative who was in the area. I believe the entire group was either agnostic or atheist. We took time out of our secular celebrations that happened to coincide with Easter to make fun of rabbits and eggs as features of a Christian holiday.

And surely a surprise to Christians is that nothing evil or untoward came of it. Happiness and community without a superior being to oversee and bless it. Who knew?

Then came Monday, back to work with the ministers and Fox News disciples.

Bill and Ted's Commandment

I was driving my daughter to school this morning and we were talking about the 10 Commandments of all things. I was telling her how I just don't see that it's all that necessary to list out all the things you shouldn't do when there are so many things you could miss.

The thing that comes to mind right away comes from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. "Be excellent to each other."

Is there anything else that really needs to be said? Killing someone... now is that being excellent? Sleeping with someone's wife... now is that excellent? Making fun of a co-worker (not covered in the original 10)... is that being excellent? Not letting your wife have the window seat on the plane (again not covered by the original 10)... is that excellent? And the list goes on and on.

But it brings up a pretty good point. You can apparently be a big an asshole as you like as long as you don't kill anyone or inadvertently make a idol while doing it. In fact, can't the whole bible be summed up into just that one phrase... be excellent to each other. The golden rule follows the same simple dogma.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Atheist Holidays

My client company has Good Friday off. I assumed it must be a banking holiday, but no, the banks are open.

The question of atheist holidays occurred to me. For fun we should take over popular religious holidays, rename them, fit secular accomplishments to them and suggest appropriate celebrations. Emphasis on suggest. I think what atheists don't need is yet another governing body. Religion has stolen and reworked most of their holidays, so we might as well make them better, and many holidays are celebrated secularly, anyway. Just how many unwitting atheists are out there I wonder?

A quick Google check since I'm probably not the first to have this idea:

Well, on page one at least there seems to be no ideas to co-opt religious holidays. At least for fun, I think this is our job.

I'm not feeling very creative today. Well, okay then Good Friday is now Better Friday where you are encouraged to rest your creativity. It is then refreshed on the following Sunday, so I'll wait until at least then to fit some background to it and invent celebrations.

MLK day does not get changed. Although MLK was a reverend, the holiday and the man's accomplishments are quite secular.

Edit: Doggone it, I misspelled the original title. Apparently creativity is not the only thing damaged on Better Friday. The visible title is fixed, but the url will still have "athiest".

Law and Order

Man, did any of you guys see the new Law and Order this week? I don't know when it comes on because I have Tivo, but I watched it last night.

You see this couple kind of arguing in the street. Next thing you know, these huge pieces of hail start falling. One of them catches this dude right in the face. Well it turns out to be large rocks instead, and they were falling off of one of the buildings. And I mean large rocks... they averaged the size of your fist. Those smooth gardening rocks... ok, enough about the rocks...

It turns out this lady was stoned to death on the roof. Messy business.

I'm not going to recount the whole episode for you because I don't wanna spoil it. But it turned out to be this mega-intense xtian group who's waging war on all non-believers. They were taking these little kids and bringing them up and extreme radicals. You should have seen it... these kids were insane. And kids will pretty much believe anything you tell them so there's no help for them.

This one really hit home with me because there are so people like this. Hell, I'm fairly convinced that my ex is getting like that.

But it did get me thinking about a conversation I had with Faithinate one time. Since we were both raised xtian we both have the same tendencies when it comes back to that whole thing. Whenever something bad happens we fall back into starting to pray sometimes. I think I do it a lot less than she does, but still. But that's how much more powerful emotion is than reason. Emotion stays with you forever, but reason get resolved right away. Think about it... do you remember who made fun of you in school? Of course you do... we all do. I remember the name of every bully who ever even looked at me. Now answer me this... do you remember any of the questions on your final math test in the 5th grade? Again, of course you don't. So emotion is much more powerful. And it's for this reason that even though we truly believe that religion is complete bullshit, we still fall back into it sometimes. I've worked hard to change my language because that's where it starts. I try not to say things like oh god, and god willing... I try to say oh dog, and dog willing, or moon willing, etc. Hey, it's a start.

But if people as dedicated as we are have trouble breaking out of the cycle, just imagine how hard it is for an entire society. You could actually prove to these people that God doesn't exist and they would still pray and go to church and kill people who don't believe. There's just no stopping some things. However, I do look forward to a day when the xtians are the extreme minority and they're the ones who have to hideout on the internet and write in secret. With any luck though these people will slowly die out. This won't happen in our lifetime, but it's possible. Imagine all the scientific discoveries that were initially shot down. The detractors eventually all died and science was free to flourish.

And the reason why religion is so much more popular than atheism is because they yell louder. We're not currently free to shout our beliefs from the mountaintops or start killing people because they believe in God. Nor are we really even allowed to say we don't believe in party conversation. It's that whole emotion vs. reason argument, right? Typically, atheists don't believe as a matter of reason so we don't have anything to shout about. I think the times are changing though. We're getting tired enough of the rhetoric and it's starting to take a real toll on our country so we're being forced to get emotional about it.

I was reading this blog today talking about how religion is keeping us out of the forefront of a lot of new technology. And while that's more true than anybody knows, it'll be a long time before anything's done about it because the xtians shout louder. Just a fact of life.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Hijacking Morality

One thing I've struggled with from time to time is how to maintain a moral or ethical code--or especially how to teach one to children--without a community like church and/or some form of higher authority to refer to.

This is ironic since I was brought up in a very moral and ethical manner without such constructs or "because God says".

Why did I think this? I think Judeo-Christian values are so heavily pushed as to indoctrinate us (or at least me) into thinking that way even though I didn't Believe.

Even more ironically is the hypocrisy in the Bible on morality. Moses brings forward 10 commandments. "Don't kill; why didn't we think of that?" "Don't boff your neighbor's wife? Gee, that might help us get along better." Furthermore, Moses destroyed the original tablets and killed 3000 followers because they created golden idols to worship while he was busy getting obvious insights from God. I don't recall the part on the tablets where killing is okay to enforce the other rules, but there seems to be quite a precedent in the Bible and Jewish and Christian and Muslim history for mortals killing mortals even though God created Hell and other disincentives for sin.

After truly admitting to myself that there is no God it is clear that religion is man-made. Furthermore, morality was hijacked by religion, in idea at least. Religion has to hijack morality, holidays and science to try to make itself sound plausible, and then it casts aside morality for its own benefit, pretends that Easter eggs are somehow Christian and denies new scientific discoveries that oppose what church has been teaching.

Fine, I'm going to Church!!!

As I mentioned in a previous post, My ex said that she was really worried for our daughter that we don't take her to church.
I was surfing around on the internet as a SurferJesus is bound to do, and I came across the Church of FreeThinkers. It's an athiest church. Wouldn't that just roast her? Frankly, if I weren't so into getting my sleep on sun, I'd consider going on a regular basis just so I could say, but you're the one who wanted me to start going to church with her. Not only would she eat shit, but she would shit out the she from the shit that she ate and make more shit to eat.

Hail Allah, Fulla Grace...

This was too good to pass up: Vatican currently in negotiations to build first church in Saudi Arabia. No, really

The opening sentence about floored me: "Interfaith dialogue has become an important exercise in finding the right words to overcome both extreme violence and ordinary misunderstanding." Yes, yes, that seems likely...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Churchternative: Community Clubhouse

The only reasons I ever wanted to actually go to church were social. (Remember that I, unlike Surfer Jesus, did not attend church regularly or even hardly at all.) Churches can have gymnasiums, game rooms and people to play with. And being in a bible belt area, many of the girls I meet go to church, so sometimes I went to church to chase pussy.

I recalled today that I had all of this available in a secular facility when I was a child. Our neighborhood had a clubhouse supported by monthly dues. The clubhouse had an indoor swimming pool, a game room, a lake with a boardwalk, lawns, big rooms, paid classes and paid staff. I didn't realize until today it was pretty much the social part of church without the preaching, dogma, shaming and guilt. The only philosophical arguments or preaching I recall were over what happens when you scratch on the pool table. (I noticed the rule seemed to change based on whether I or my opponent scratched.) Very cool. I was even offered pussy there once or twice but was too young and naive even at 12 to understand the offer. (The girl offering was the same age.)

I had forgotten how nice it was to have the clubhouse around. This was up North. I don't think I've heard of such a thing in the South.

Everyone's a Heathen

I read a blog yesterday talking about whether x-tians should be held to a higher standard than the rest of us. That's funny isn't it... the rest of us... anyway... I've tried to find it again, but I can't so I can't link to it. But it was basically a quote from that asshole Fallwell saying we're all heathens and xtians have the monopoly on morality.

I absolutely hold them to a higher standard. They should be. It has nothing to do with whether or not God actually exists, or whether he listens to prayer or does any good. It has to do with the fact that they claim it does and that they have the monopoly to being decent and honorable people. So for that very fact, they should be held to a higher standard. After all, they're the ones studying how to be more moral. Shouldn't it actually make them better people? And does being more moral actually make you a better person?

The more I think about this the more it holds up to scrutiny. I would expect my plumber to know more about plumbing than I do. When he does work in my house I expect it to be done right and that I won't have to call him back out in a couple weeks to redo it. He's a professional and I hold him to professional standards. I'm not so anything I do is simply the best I can do. I'm sort of a plumbing heathen if you will.

And of course we all know that being x-tian doesn't really appear to make any difference in people's lives at all. You're either a good person or you're not and being x-tian only gives you an excuse to justify being whatever you want to be in the first place.

Look at my ex in my post from yesterday. She's gone mega-xtian and she's just an awful person. She's spiteful and mean, and vindictive. And she's actually abusing my daughter and doesn't think she's doing anything wrong because it's all in the name of the Lord.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Godless Childhood

My grandparents were Christian, but my parents never to my recollection professed faith or nonfaith and never took me to church. I had some church exposure during visits with my grandparents, but it was neither compelling nor repulsive.

In high school I attended some Young Life meetings mainly because of a girl I had a crush on, and again I was not compelled by the faith expressed and encouraged there. I also was lured to a Southern Baptist youth gathering of some festive name where Elvis' brother was going to make an appearance and some Dallas Cowboys players would say some words. Any of you who've had experience with Southern Baptists already realize how that ended. Elvis' brother is a hellfire and brimstone preacher, and the psychological pressure was intense to confess that you haven't fully accepted Jesus as your savior and report to a church counselor who will further pressure you to do so and join the church and tithe.

I'm fond of saying the Baptists scared me away from church.

And yet without God, church or God-fearing parents to serve as a moral guide I somehow managed to survive and thrive. I never was in legal trouble, don't drink much, have never taken illegal drugs, have never abused legal drugs (except that once, but it was one Vicodin and I did have a toothache, and that was just a couple of years ago), didn't have sex until well into adulthood, don't smoke, etc., etc.. Not that the preceding is ideal, but as it turns out I didn't need God or church to have a moral upbringing.

Holier than My Ass!!

Here's a situation you'll get to know well if you follow my blog. Last year my ex took me back to court for extended visitation for our daughter. I have custody. So we ended up in mediation in which we agreed to go to group therapy to try to get along. We've been apart for like 6yrs now and it's been vitriolic to say the least.
So in our first and only session with the shrink she said that one of her biggest concerns was a lack of christian influence in our house and she was worried for her daughter. We weren't a christian household when we were together; this is something she came up with after she moved out and got tired of doing porn and titty dancing.

Well, she's always talked bad about me to our daughter and it's usually something really bad like your dad's a liar, or he used to beat me, etc. Now my daughter's coming to me telling me that her mom told her that if you were to put a gun to my head and asked if I wanted to die, or let my daughter die, that I would choose my daughter. And if that's not bad enough now it's giving her nightmares that I'm killing her for small infractions.

So this is the christian influence you want your daughter to have at home? This is really how you want me to act? And the morality you want me to teach her? Seriously? That's what fucking kills me about christians. They're such fucking hypocrits. They have no sense of right and wrong because everything is measured against the bloodbath of the bible and their own sense of moral superiority.

Well, if heaven's full of you assholes maybe I'll take my chances in hell.
Since when did all of you become so much better than the rest of us that you not only get to tell us what to do, but you don't have to follow your own guidelines. If I were ever talking about her like that, she'd be on a rampage.

I suppose that since she lost custody she's decided that she can't fight me head-on, so she's using my daughter as a weapon. And why not? Isn't that what the bible teaches; Women are scum and not worthy of anything consideration?

This is the exact reason I'm not a christian anymore. I don't want to be a part of anybody that treats a sweet little girl with such disregard. Oh, did I mention that my daughter's only 9 and this has been going on since she was 3?

Oh, and I forgot one very important detail. While she was telling my daughter this, she actually said, "And if you don't believe me, just ask God." Just ask GOD? What the fuck does that even mean?

Here's another one while I'm ranting. My ex, since she's been one of God's concubines, has been fascinated with death and the end of the world. She's told my daughter a few times now that the end of the world was coming soon and that we were all going to die. And of couse my daughter comes home after a weekend of this and does nothing but cry and have nightmares because she doesn't want to die.

What is this fascination you people have with the end of the world? You know, if you're unhappy here you have the power to change that. It's all up to you. You don't have to stick around.

OK, off topic just a little bit. I was reading another blog this morning and it's the exact same thing I had an argument with my mom about just last week. You see, it all got started with my ex (I bet you never thought I'd say that again, huh). My ex told my daughter that Obama was a muslim and wanted to kill all the americans... don't get me started. Anyway, my mother (the southern baptist) is apparently on the Obama's a muslim train too and we got in a nice little argument about it. Funny how these people never have anything intelligent to say. They've got their opinion and that's that. Anyway, I just wanted to link to the blog becuase I don't want to spend a lot of time on the topic.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Churchternative: Secular House of Science

In one of the conversations that eventually led to this blog, Surfer Jesus suggested that a better use for church buildings would be scientific research centers.

I love the idea! I can't imagine how to make it happen without Christianity in general declaring war, but the thought of amateur science labs in every neighborhood is quite powerful to me.

Something as simple as making invisible ink, making precipitation and building simple machines into catapults and rat-trap-powered cars really gives a person a feel for the meaning and implication behind science that book learning doesn't. Imagine a Sunday school where a child learns by experience and not by humans presumptively thinking they're channeling the true word of God? (How many denominations are there? Not to mention the Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, pagans, etc. Which one of them has it right?)

How about a neighborhood observatory or planetarium?

Man, I love these ideas. It would be great to see it happen someday.

Born Again Atheist

Atheist seemed like too strong a word. It seemed too hostile towards religion. What changed? Why am I now calling myself atheist?

Oddly enough it started with volleyball last week. I'd like to play volleyball, but all I know of are church leagues or nonsocial pay-for-play competitive leagues. It occurred to me before to check into Secular Humanism, and here was a good chance. Perhaps there are Secular Humanist social volleyball leagues? As it turns out, no, not that I can find. There just aren't enough attendees.

As the web goes, one link lead to another, one Wikipedia article lead to another, and I found myself touching upon atheist web sites. Oh the uncomfort. Why are they so hostile? Wait a minute, I've been feeling more and more hostile towards organized religion lately. The bullshit they spout, and I don't just mean Biblical dogma. I mean blaming man-made and natural disasters on homosexuality. I mean fighting contraception. Attacking the separation of church and state that keeps this continent from being a constant holy battleground like some other continents.

That and reading a couple of atheist books helped me realize that I'm not the agnostic I claimed to be since my teens; I'm an atheist. Spirituality I can tolerate. Organized religion is really pissing me off, though.

Certainly hostility will come through this blog from me, but it's not the focus or purpose for my blogging here. I think once I get over the pent-up hostility from suppressing my atheism from myself I'll work more towards being a tolerant and accepting atheist.

Then I can start building pent-up hostility for suppressing my atheism from my acquaintances. Yeah, I'm seriously worried that one of the more nutty Christians would want and try to hurt me. Hopefully not one of my acquaintances, but surely they would scurry away and pray for me at their next service, and all it takes is one nutjob.

I had lunch with a coworker today. We had a nice conversation about our weekends and families, and being the pious man he is worked Abraham into the conversation. It didn't bother me like it might have a couple of weeks ago now that I'm come to terms with my atheism, but I did wonder how tolerant he would be if I talked about my atheism.

Child Abuse, or, "The Shit Torrent"

No, it's not going to be about what you think. I think the apparently widespread and highly publicized sexual abuse of children by "holy men" really speaks for itself. And if not, it's certainly been thoroughly covered already.

Today I want to talk about the indoctrination - or rather brainwashing - of children into the family faith. I have a few things here.

A couple of days ago I had a phrase running on a loop through my head: Shit rolls downhill. This is the polar opposite of Pay it Forward. Shit rolls downhill. My grandmother pounded heavan and hell into my head when I was 7, and scared the shit out of me. When I cried, fearing the eternal torment of hell, she said it was the Holy Spirit moving in me.

When I later bought in and became a holy roller, around age 13, I pounded on everyone else. My immediate family (then agnostics all) quickly grew sick of me; I'm sure I was pretty intolerable. My younger brother got the brunt of this, and you know why? That's right, kids. Shit rolls downhill.

Speaking of which, my poor stepdaughter's mother is now telling her that the child's father (that's Surfer Jesus to you folk) would sacrifice the girl to save his own life, if he says otherwise he's a liar, and ask God what the truth is. Shit fucking POURS downhill.

Oh sure, I hear you guys over there. You're saying that there will always be a few bad apples in the bunch, it doesn't mean that the whole gang is rotten, all that jazz. I'm just picking on the bad few and asserting that they stand representative of the whole. There's something in that, sure. I certainly can't claim all who have faith are bad (hm, or CAN I...), but really now. There are an awful lot of extremists making more extremists. There are a lot of "foot washin' Baptists" indoctrinating new ones. And there are a whole hell of a lot of people scaring kids into a whole set of beliefs, completely at odds with the supposed tenets of those beliefs. God is love, kids, so believe in him or he'll put you in hell forever and ever.

The problem with religion - here specifically, Christianity - is that it's a system that can't be defeated, so to speak. There are no rules, no verification, no way to tell the real from the made up, opportunity from pride, punishment for God's tests. If it's not working for you, then you're simply not doing it right. Look to the church, look within yourself, ask God for a sign...these all boil down to, hold your breath and spit. And it's all covered, because if you question all the confusion you simply have no faith.

Remember folks, I've been there.

Examples: I remember having the Once Saved, Always Saved debate with a Christian friend well after I'd chucked the whole thing. I said well, if that's the standard then I'm not going to hell. At the time I was saved, I believed truly and wholeheartedly. I had the weeping coming to Jesus, I was baptised, I prayed, I churched, I tried to read my Bible and ask the church/myself/God for my right course in every thing. So I'm saved even now.

He said, well, you weren't REALLY saved, then, if you've disavowed all that now. Nobody who REALLY accepts Jesus would ever go back on it.

Nice try.

Nobody could ever explain the whole God and evil thing to me, either. So God is good, is perfect, knows everything, and he created all the universe and the Earth and every creeping thing `pon it, and he's hip with all the SIN and tragedy and horror that goes along with it? He's cool with Lucifer rising up against him and getting thrown down into the fire. He's cool with that lady up in where the fuck ever who cut off her infant's arms. How the hell does this make sense to everyone?

I mean seriously, if I'd had the foreknowledge that my first child would be a mass murderer rapist pedofile fuck, and the second would be average to great human...I'm pretty sure I'd forget about having kids completely.

(Hey, as it turns out I've got quite a bit of rage to vent too, PraiseNull.)

Okay, so what I'm trying to say here is, religion makes no sense. It takes an extraordinary amount of mental acrobatics to come to terms with the plethora of contradictions any of the major given faiths present. And to teach children that the most important thing in life is to bind their minds into believing this insane hodgepodge is horrifying. How can we expect to turn out intelligent thinkers - women who mean it when they say No, men who hear No when it's said, people who can recognize a con for what it is, teens who understand the place and consequences of sex and relationships, people who are independent and responsible - if all we teach them is Just Belive, Trust Me, Don't Worry Your Pretty Head About the Details?

The New Curse

Well, here I am with my 2nd post and there's just a little bit more housecleaning to do before I get into my topic.

First, I know I'm going to get these questions so I'm just going to answer them up front.

1. Why is this blog anonymous? Well, there are a couple reasons really. I am a professional with a couple very successful blogs in my industry and knowing what freaks x-tians are, I just don't need the headache of having to defend my religious thoughts in my professional life. I had a friend who recently did go through that very same thing. He had a personal blog like this and it caused him nothing but grief. So for that reason I've decided to keep my name out of it. Also, it shouldn't matter who I am. You either agree with me or you don't so my ideas stand on their own merits. And lastly, all religions have nuts. In fact, religion is kind of a mixed can of complete nuts. And frankly, I don't want anybody to be able to look me up and plant a car bomb or anything. I have a family and I don't want them hurt (wow, you mean I don't believe in God, yet I can still care about other people?). And let's be honest. No matter how unlikely, it's still a concern, so I'm just removing this from the equation.

And to be honest, I can't remember the other question I had in mind right now so I'll post that one when it comes to me... oops, get used to that.

OK, now on to my topic for today.

One thing that bothers me is how arbitrary religion is... especially in the area of cursing. Now, those who know me best know that I curse my fair share. In fact, I suppose I curse enough for a couple other people's fair share too. But what gets me is how arbitrary religion is about cursing. Take my mother for example. She's a very strict baptist, yet she curses all the time. In fact, I'm pretty sure the first time my daughter heard fuck was from my mother the southern baptist. Now, having grown up x-tian myself and having read the bible, I don't remember seeing anything in there where it says don't curse. Yet all the x-tians almost universally preach against it. I'm not sure why except that maybe it goes along with just the general prudishness you need to try to control other people's lives. Because that's what it really boils down to isn't it? It's just another way to control people. But again, it's arbitrary. Because the bible doesn't lay down the law about cursing, they're able to put whatever weight to the words they want. So fuck is heavier than shit which is heavier than damn, etc. And these weights change depending on who you're talking to.

However, that said, I've got kind of a new car syndrome going on with cursing. I've been building up to official athiesm for a long time now... many years in fact. And it's only been withing the past couple years that I've been doing any significant reading on the topic and it's finally been able to push me over the edge to actually come to grips with what I am. Before I just said I was agnostic or something like that. Now, I'm a proud athiest and I don't curse any more or any else than I did when I was an x-tian. But what does bother me though is the new curse words I'm finding in my life. Things like 'God bless you' and 'Have a blessed day' are really becoming offensive to me. It's like when you buy a new car. You never really noticed Priuses before, but now that I have one, they're everywhere. The world just gave birth to the Prius. So I've definitely got the syndrome. The new athiest syndrome. I never really noticed before how many people throw that bullshit into conversations. God bless you... hey, fuck you too! It's offensive that you have to push your religious beliefs off on to me every time we meet. It's that pervasive nagging that makes religion a mosquito. All they do is buzz around your head and try to suck your blood when you're not looking.

I get sales people calling me at work all the time. And sometimes I get one of those nasty curse words from one of them. Like I'm supposed to listen to you about your dumbass product because you jizzed Jesus in my face. And who the fuck do you think you are anyway? You don't even know me and you just assume that God bless is something I'll appreciate? What if I did the same thing? Wouldn't it be great for me to end every phone conversation and email with 'God doesn't exist'? Who do you think that would piss off? And how about if I were black? Could I get away with saying 'kill whitey' all the time?

It's like those fucks on the side of the road begging for money. These guys refuse to get off their asses and get a job, and they spend all their money on booze, yet because they put God bless on their sign, I'm supposed to be guilted into giving them money. Frankly, it's just fucking offensive and as far as I'm concerned, the only real curse words are those mindless religious propaganda phrases designed to find out if you're 'in'.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Surfer Jesus is Here

OK, so we've just started up this new blog in the hopes that we can spark some good interest in this growing athiest revolution. That's right, we're in like an athiest renaissance and I'm excited to be a part of it.
We've got a small team of bloggers here and all of us are reformed christians. I personally remember going to church every weekend of my childhood and I hated it. I would pull any trick I could to keep from going. On many occasions I unplugged my parents' alarm clocks, or snuck in early in the morning and set the clocks either backwards or forwards to keep from having to go. It didn't always work, but it worked enough to make it worth my while.
There were so many things that just never made sense to me and I'll definitely be talking about all of them eventually.

Getting out of church is the best thing that ever happened to me. Since I don't quite have a topic this time as this is just my little intro, I'll leave it here. However, I would like to go ahead and tell how I got my name. I was sitting around with my wife a few days ago and we were talking about Jesus and the like, and how bad the old testiment is. She said that she much prefers the Jesus that gets depicted as the hippie at Berkley who just sits around and chills... kinda like the Buddy Christ from the movie Dogma. And I said, yeah, more of a surfer Jesus. And we liked that phrase so much I just made it my online name. There's something about the surfer Jesus that I really like the idea of. Certainly it's more what religion is meant to be like other than the uptight assholes running around sticking their foot in your door while you're trying to relax on sunday morning.

Anyway, more to come.

Faithinate's Intro

Wow, my first ever post on The God Dam. I think we'll start out light, with an intro and a few little thoughts and links.

I'm a recovered Southern Baptist (I'm feeling much better now, thanks) and I'll be the somewhat treehuggery and slightly forgiving female voice here on the GD.

This whole thing started out as another one of our around-the-house conversations on god and God and religion and organizations partaking therein, and dear hubby SurferJesus suggested a YMAA (Young Men's Atheist Association, "For People Who Aren't Retarded"). The idea quickly blossomed.

Today's news item comes from Canada: Religious groups want Russian cartoon channel shut down. "Christian and Muslim groups are demanding that 2X2 be shut down because it airs cartoons, such as South Park, which they deem to be anti-religious, violent as well as promoting homosexuality." Yet again, we have the cardinal rule: Religious People Must Police Everything Everyone Else Does. Terribly sorry, but why the fuck do you care if some going-to-hell sinners make a show that going-to-hell sinners watch, regardless of whether it's "promoting homosexuality" or not?

Remember, I'm the gentle blogger here.

Moving right along. On a personal note, my grade school stepdaughter told me a couple of days ago that her mother (a psychopathic hypocritical Xtian if I've ever seen one) said that Barack Obama wants to kill everyone in America, because he's the type of person who wants to kill all Americans. Turns out since he was raised Muslim, he's gonna be president and drop da bomb on us all. This poor kid is now afraid that we'll all die if Obama gets to be president. Sigh. Is this the stupidest woman on god's green earth, or are there a few earthworms that can't outthink her? Unfortunately, this is exactly the kind of bigoted ignorance that drives us into frothing rages, and into creating this very blog.

Another news item. I missed Sally Kern saying that homosexuals are worse than terrorists (ah, you're also competing with earthworms), but I caught the very eloquent response from a high school senior who has lost a whole hell of a lot more to terrorists than to gays.

Oh yeah, and while we were kicking around ideas about god/religion/the GD yesterday, I ran across The Atheist Bible Study, and specifically the article concerning whether God is evil. Nice.

I don't really believe in god or God or gods or goddesses (that cover it?), but I guess I don't particularly disbelieve in a higher power, necessarily. I just disbelieve in YOUR god/God/gods/goddesses. The Atheist Bible Study made an excellent point: the God presented in the Bible is an asshole, srsly. This is the God of love everyone's been going on about?

That's plenty for our first round, so let's get to fightin'!