Churchternative: Community Clubhouse

The only reasons I ever wanted to actually go to church were social. (Remember that I, unlike Surfer Jesus, did not attend church regularly or even hardly at all.) Churches can have gymnasiums, game rooms and people to play with. And being in a bible belt area, many of the girls I meet go to church, so sometimes I went to church to chase pussy.

I recalled today that I had all of this available in a secular facility when I was a child. Our neighborhood had a clubhouse supported by monthly dues. The clubhouse had an indoor swimming pool, a game room, a lake with a boardwalk, lawns, big rooms, paid classes and paid staff. I didn't realize until today it was pretty much the social part of church without the preaching, dogma, shaming and guilt. The only philosophical arguments or preaching I recall were over what happens when you scratch on the pool table. (I noticed the rule seemed to change based on whether I or my opponent scratched.) Very cool. I was even offered pussy there once or twice but was too young and naive even at 12 to understand the offer. (The girl offering was the same age.)

I had forgotten how nice it was to have the clubhouse around. This was up North. I don't think I've heard of such a thing in the South.