Thursday, May 1, 2008

You'll Never Win

It's the circular logic of x-tians that I just don't get. I know I've written about this before but it hits me in the face a LOT because I come across it a LOT.

I'm talking about that whole argument that god only helps those who help themselves. And while that's true for people, it's at least quantifiable. If your kid is trying really hard to find resources for his school project and you happen to have something that he can use, you're likely to give it to him if he's being responsible and trying hard. But if he's just sitting on the couch doing nothing, then you're likely to let him exhaust his other resources first.

The same goes with pretty much any other thing too, right? You're more likely to throw money at someone who's doing all the right things in their life, but just can't seem to make things happen because they don't have enough resources than you are someone who refuses to go out and get a job to earn money.

It doesn't work that way with god. The fucking x-tians always say that god gave them the money to take their trip, or made them better when they were sick, etc. So you got out and took an extra job so you got extra money. Now you can pay for your trip. So where does god come in? Oh, that's right, he allowed you to get the job, that's right. Or did he allow the check not to bouce? Or did he give you the ability to do the job, and the willingness to go out and get it in the first place? That's the problem with that shit. You can't quantify anything he's actually done. I got the job. I worked the job. I kept the job. I got paid for the job. What the fuck did god do?

And since I'm all about off-beat examples, allow me to drive my point into the ground with a few.

My daughter studied all week for her test and passed with an A. Therefore, that credit belongs to me because I allowed her to study. And since I gave her life, I actually gave her the ability to study. So the credit is all mine.

My friend cheated on his wife last week, and he said it was the best sex he'd ever had. I wonder if he's thanking god for the ability to break one of his commandments with such skill.

You ask your kid to go get you a soda from the fridge. When she returns, you thank your wife. Yeah, you kid did all the work, but your wife didn't tackle her on the way to the kitchen so she deserves the credit for allowing her to do it. Hey, I guess you deserve some credit too since you gave her life which also allowed her to do it.

I'd like to thank god for allowing me to study and pass my trig test last week. And I'd also like to say fuck you god for allowing me to study for physics just as hard, but not allowing me to pass. So fuck you, I'll take the next one.

You know, I joke around a lot, but if god really does exist, what the fuck's with him always tripping us up? Frankly I find it rather offensive that he keeps defeating my efforts. And why is it that he never bothers lifting a finger for me until I break down and do it myself?

Hey, it's not he's actually helping those who help themselves. I need a job that makes $20/hr. I get a job that makes $20/hr. And I'm paid $20/hr. See, math so simple even I can do it. You want to help me? Fine, I went out and got the job, and I'm working the job faithfully. Now, have them pay me double what they said they would. So I still make $20/hr, yet somehow I'm getting double every week. And nobody knows where it's coming from, it's just showing up. THAT'S helping those who help themselves. But this bullshit where you just sit back and wait for me to do something and then just allow things to happen as usual... that's just bullshit.

It's like watching ants. They don't need to praise us because we're watching them carry food back to their hill. Just because we're not killing them doesn't mean we deserve any of the credit for their food. And god is actually actively trying to kill us all the time. And randomly too I might add.

OK, I'm really beating the point now, but it just kills me (that circular logic). They take it as such fact and it doesn't hold up at all. There's not one single shred of evidence that god actually DID anything. When my kid's trying to buy something with his own money and comes up a little short, I can give him a couple bucks to help him out. See, he's spending his own money and just came up a little short. I helped him because he helped himself. But if I don't give him the money and he goes out and makes more until he has enough, then where the fuck did I help?
Dammit, see, there I go again. OK, I'm gonna stop now because this shit just drives me crazy. Hey, maybe god's allowing me to go crazy. He's certainly given me the ability. And I'm definitely helping myself by allowing this to drive me crazy. So I guess they're right. God's making me crazy.

1 comment:

Simon said...

What gets me is the Hammer of God arguing style. You're discussing something like why does being created by a god and having an afterlife make your life any more meaningful. Then they just go WAM! - cos God says so.

If you were playing them at chess, you'd get them into checkmate, only for them to pull a cord which releases a huge weight crushing the board and all the pieces.

"Don't argue with me cos I've got God on my side and he can do anything at any time for any reason, no matter how silly it sounds."