Saturday, March 21, 2009

Live Blog - The God Dammers' Saturday Night

SurferJesus says he used to date this girl, years ago, and wanted to marry her, but they couldn't because of the big difference in religion between their families. Her family believed it was most important to shun Islam, while his believed it was most important to shun Christians, and he didn't want to go through the trouble of converting.

Three guys I knew in college were publicly flogged for hoping out loud that the world wouldn't end any time soon.

What would the pamphlets look like for door to door evangelical atheists? Christians always have happy, blissful people smiling on the front, but atheits are realists. So maybe people with "WTF?" expressions, or people with goggles and test tubes.

If you wanted to publicly prove that you were a really really good atheist, what would you channel to speak in tongues? You could channel Carlin, I suppose, or Dawkins, or Joe Pesci (he swears a lot!)

SJ asks, What's going to be the penalty for hosting a gay wedding reception? And I said, no, atheists get pissed off when STRAIGHT people get married. PN added that it's far worse to involve an invisible third party. The way marraiges are these days, rings should probably be made out of something biodegradable.

The real pisser about being atheist is that it usually isn't, in and of itself, an excuse to get together with other people. I mean, there are atheist clubs, but only because we need to resist, to fight for reason. Without resistance there isn't a reason to have a full organization, get together every week, do dinner're forced to go out and make friends on your own charisma. Pisser.

Atheist award ceremonies are a lot shorter, because you just get up and say "Thanks! I worked really hard!" And sit down. (Isn't it odd how porn stars thank God when they accept their awards? I think SJ's going to elaborate on that, sorry...)

Jesus is EVERYONE's copilot. When I'm flying, I think, "How much time does God HAVE on this kind of plane?"

1 comment:

SurferJesus said...

That's nice, but the biodegradable rings was MINE... ass.