Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Blueberry Delusion

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It used to be so hard for me to understand how xtians can constantly get so worked up over something that isn’t even real… i.e. god.  But you know what, I had an experience just a couple days ago that’s changed my mind forever.  In fact, now I can completely understand how it is that they can get so worked up over an imaginary friend.

So I was playing with my oldest son in the backyard and he was playing like he was going to the store.  He rolls his little dump truck around and pretends to get different produce and then he comes over and gives it to you… or me, rather.  What happened the first time was he came up to give me some blueberries and I held out my hand and he dropped them on the ground so I had to pick them up.  Then the next time he did the same thing.  I told him that he needed to start putting them in my hand.  And the next couple times he dropped them on the table instead of putting them in my hand.  And I found myself getting mad at him.  Why the fuck can’t he just put the goddamn blueberries in my hand?  How fucking hard is that?

Then something crossed my mind.  THE FUCKING BLUEBERRIES AREN’T REAL!!!  Why the fuck am I getting upset over imaginary fruit?  Let him put them where he wants.  It’s not like I actually have to pick them up and dust them off or anything.

And this is how I got with a simple playtime with my son.  Can you imagine how easy it is for others to get that upset about their eternal life?  Well, I guess you don’t have to, huh?  So anyway, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the game, but at some point you have to remember that the blueberries your preacher is handing you aren’t real.


Big dildo up your ass.

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