In the Same Breath

So I was talking to my mom today... you remember her, the strict baptist.

And she told me that she's finally given up on me. She no longer holds any belief that I will find the lord again. All that really means is that she'll stop bugging me about it because I'm sure she won't stop getting on her knees-clasping her hands- and talking to herself about it. And believe it or not, in the same breath she started telling me a story about the old testiment. I'm trying to remember now what her point was because it sparked the reason for this post and it just went out of my head. Oh wait, I remember now.

Yeah that's it... she was telling me about something they were studying in bible group last week. How all these people were screwing around sinning all over the place, having sex with relatives, etc. and how god gave them a chance to repent and they refused so he brought the flood. The baptists are a simple people aren't they?

Anyway though... so as she tells the story god doesn't make you do anything. He gives you the choice to do as he commands and to repent if you stray. Oh wait, that's what started all this... I asked her why god didn't just make us do what he wants if he wants us to do it so badly, why doesn't he just make it so that we always do what he wants. And she told me that story to demonstrate how he gives us free will.

And this is the point of my whole argument with her. If god gives us free will and we can choose as we like, then why does he kill us when we refuse to do as he wants? We're talking old bible here still right? But it's not free will if he says do it or I'll kill you. Free will is free will. And when you have free will you're welcome to do what you like. There may be consequences, but they shouldn't be at the hand of the person giving you permission to do what you like. In a free will environment you're free to make choices and live the the consequences of those choices as they happen. But you're not allowed to wave a steak in front of your dog and then beat him when he goes for it.

I had this same thing with a couple ex-girlfriends. We would be talking about some hot chick at a party or someone I worked with and they would always say something like... if you wanna sleep with her you're welcome to. No, really, go ahead. You can do whatever you want. And then when I would ask what would happen if I did, they would say... oh I'd leave you, but you're free to fuck her if you want. Well then, that's not really free now is it? It's understood that if I wanna fuck someone else it'll end the relationship. The way to approach that is no you can't go fuck that girl. That way it's understood that my girlfriend does not approve of me fucking someone else and should I choose to do it, things between us will be over. But to say I'm free to do it, go ahead... well, that's just misleading. I'm glad I never actually fell for that trap.

So in the old bible there really is no such thing as free will. You do what you're told or you're fucking dead. Which leads me into one of the god problems right? If the new testament takes care of that by him sending jesus to save us so he didn't have to kill all of us all the time, then that proves god can't exist at all. Because that proves that god made a mistake in the way he was dealing with us before and he had to change his method. And if the entire premise is that god is infallable, then that disproves the entire thing right there. Or maybe he didn't realize he would have to keep killing us and killing us because we never learn our lesson. Either way, god didn't see it coming so he's not perfect.

I really do believe all of this, but GOD I love fucking with my mother.