Sunday, April 5, 2009

My Lucky Shirt

I hope this one is going to be short because I really just wanna kinda follow-up on some of the topics we've been spitting around here for a while. I'm playing with the notion again of why we need to even had a god figure in the first place.

There's really just something in our nature (as has been told by Dawkins) that makes us want to not only assign nature to things, but to also take control over things that we can't personally control ourselves. Because let's face it, you don't see anyone breaking their kneecaps to pray that a soda suddenly flies out of the fridge, right? That's because we can do it ourselves. But have your favorite baseball team get a couple points behind and suddenly it's because your wife didn't wash your lucky game shirt. Or the runner was tagged out at 1st base because you couldn't eat the hotdog fast enough.

There are so many stupid sports superstitions you can't even count them all. And some of them are easier to get away from than others. Let's say you have your lucky game shirt and your team always wins when you have it on. So of course you have to wear it to the game because they'll lose if you don't. Of course you never think about the fact that they win plenty of games out of town that you don't even go to. But all it would really take to get you off of that stupid tradition is to lose the shirt for good and have the team keep winning. It's really that easy. One day your wife just throws it away by "accident" and it's gone. Now that the team is still winning you're able to put the shirt back in its place as just a shirt and nothing more. Some other sports myths are harder to bebunk because they don't consist of anything solid like a shirt. Some of them require a chant or a special dance, or wave, etc. Those are the ones you'll never get rid of because you'll always do them regardless of what anyone around you says.

So it's not confined to religious nuts either. These guys are sports nuts and I actually met one a few months ago in Seattle. He was a diehard athiest who had a special network cable he always traveled with and it had never failed to get him a good network connection at the hotel. Forget the fact that most of the time it stayed in his bag because everyone's on wireless now. Just having the cable was good enough. And you know what? I just let it go. I wished him good luck with that and went on about my way.

But these stupidstitions are fucking everywhere you look. They're hard to avoid. So since I more or less promised to keep this short I'll stop it there. Except to say that I know actors have their little things too, and in keeping with the theme of one of my last posts, I'm sitting here wondering what kinds of things pornstars need to obsess on to get the job done. You would tend to see this in the male stars primarily I would imagine since a woman can always perform. But I could see a woman needing something every now and then as I'll demonstrate below.

2 male pornstars talking after a shoot:

1. Dude, what happened to you out there today?
2. Man, I know I fucked up. What could I do? I didn't have my lucky cockring.
1. DUDE, you went out and tried to do a scene without your lucky cockring? What were you thinking?
2. I know, I know. What could I do though, I had to go on. I'm under contract. I just don't know what happened to it.
1. Yeah, but this is what happens when you try to get away with something like that. Stuff like this happens man!
2. Yeah, I feel really bad about that. I just hope she's ok.
1. I don't know man, she looked pretty bad.
2. Oh god... should I sent flowers?
1. I'm not sure, I've just never seen anything like that before.
2. Me neither. And it's certainly never happened to ME before. I really hope she's ok.
1. Yeah, me too. Just imagine having someone go to cum on your face and they shit all over your chest. Dude, what were you thinking going out there without your lucky cockring?!?

Now, 2 female pornstars talking after a scene:

1. Honey I don't know what you were thinking but I doubt if he'll ever do a scene with you again.
2. Oh shit do you think so? Was it that bad?
1. What it that bad? Girl I'm not even sure I should be talking to you anymore.
2. It's not my fault, my boyfriend washed my lucky ass beads and I didn't get a chance to use them before the scene.
1. WHAT? You went out there without your lucky ass beads? Girl, don't you know that's a career killer? You remember what happened to Kelly Couchback, right?
2. No, I've never heard of her.
1. Exactly, nobody has. She was doing one of her first scenes ever and she mocked the lucky ass beads. Well, what happened next was just the worst thing ever. She was gangbaning these 2 guys and when one of them finished, she queefed cum all over his face.
2. Oh my god, that's horrible.
1. Well, not as horrible as what you just did.
2. I know, I know. I can't believe that happened. I hope he doesn't sue me.
1. Oh he's not gonna sue you, but you'll be lucky if you can ever get another job.
2. I just never thought that not having my lucky charms once would be so bad. I thought that at the most I might not be able to take his whole cock.
1. Yeah well you wish that's all that happened. I still can't believe you actually spewed chocolate all over him while he was eating your pussy.
2. Oh don't remind me. Has anybody seen him?
1. I don't know. The last I heard there was just a trail of peanuts leading back to his dressing room.

Big dildo up your ass.

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