Noah's Orgy

OK, it has been brought to my attention that it wasn't just Noah, wife, and boys on the ark, but also the boys' wives. So you know I'm gonna have some fun today.

I ran across something in the new bible on this subject that you should look at. It's the story of what happened when they all got off the boat (the original wetbacks).

Now I know the ark actually landed on top of that mountain in Turkey where everyone on board (including the animals) would freeze to death, but let's consider that an inconsistency on par with the old bible and move on.

SJ Noah 42:17

And Noah opened the door and stepped off the ark. He saw the grass was green and invited everyone to follow him.

Immediately his wife went to pick flowers and he grabbed his eldest son, Jon, and said, "Why don't you go keep your mother company... she looks like she could use a cock in her mouth."

To this his son replied, "Yeah, I've been watching her lately, and I couldn't wait for this boat to stop so I could dig into some of that ass. Afterall, we have to repopulate the earth."

"That's right son, we do. Now where did your wife, Ezmerelda get off to? I've been wanting to shoot a wad in her since you brought her home that first time. And I've been praying to god that he'd let me tap that sweet ass; I just didn't know he'd kill off the entire world to do it."

"Yeah dad, she's got a tight little hole, that's for sure. And wait till you see what she does with your balls. You'll go nuts. So is there anything I need to know about mom?"

"Yes there is. She hates it when you double-dip. And she won't suck your dick unless you fuck her in the ass first. She's always been a freak like that. But don't worry... she takes a load better than any other woman I've known. And she can put her legs all the way up behind her head. I shoot so fast when she does that."

SCENE BETWEEN NOAH AND EZMERELDA HAVING SEX:

"Oh Noah, I know I'm only 13 and you're 65, but I've wanted to feel your cock in my ass for 2yrs now."

"Really? Cause I was just gonna say that I used to whack-off to you every day on the boat. Every time I'd see you bending over there to shovel the animal shit off the deck, I wanted to just run over there and lick that sweet, bald pussy till you screamed."

"Yeah, Jon says my titties should be coming in soon and then it's really on."

"Well, I like you just the way you are sweetheart. Now why don't you come over here and wrap those sweet lips around my cock. We've got a lot of time to makeup for."

SCENE BETWEEN JON AND MOM HAVING SEX:

"Oh mom, I've wanted to fuck you since I found out we were going to be the last ones on earth."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to look at you as a little boy and say, one day my baby boy will go through puberty, and then I bet he'll fuck like a pro. I wish I could get me some of that young cock. So I prayed and the Lord made it happen."

"Oh yeah, suck me just like that. Get all that shit off my dick."

"I wuv da taas o ya dig.", she said trying not to spit the cock out.

"OK, turn around and let me slam that ass again. I'm gonna make you squeal."

"I love to feel you inside my ass. But remember, you have to cum in my pussy. We're supposed to be repopulating the earth and we can't waste cum like that."

"Oh mom, I'm only 16. I can cum 10 times a day."

"Yeah, but you've still got to fuck your other brothers' wives today too so pace yourself."

"Tell you what, I'll jizz in your asshole, and then you can suck it all off my cock. Then I'll go take care of the other 2 girls, and come back this evening and finish you off the right way. How's that?"

"Oh, that would be great. I've actually got your little brother cumming inside me in a couple hours so that'll work out just fine. He's only 13 though, so I suspect he'll be pretty quick. But momma will teach him right, and before you know it he'll be slamming me in the shitter as hard as you."

So according to the new bible, that's how the earth got repopulated. It's not quite as glamorous as the bible makes out, but it sure is hot. All that incest action. Gotta love the xtians.

Noah's Super Sex Blowout

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Disproving Omniscience

God's kind of a liar, as it turns out:

17But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

And the serpent is the truth teller:

Gen3:2And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

4And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

5For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

6And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

So after that, Adam and Eve were ashamed of being naked, and then instead of owning up to rational thinking they blamestormed on the serpent. And God punished the shit out of them - hard work, hard childbirth, subjugated Eve. And he got petty, or jealous, or something

Gen3:22And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

23Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

We just watched Evan Almighty, which was pretty good. I kind of like Morgan Freeman as God. But it got me thinking about Noah again, so I started reading.

Gen 6:6 and 7 - 6And the Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved at heart.

7So the Lord said, I will destroy, blot out, and wipe away mankind, whom I have created from the face of the ground--not only man, [but] the beasts and the creeping things and the birds of the air--for it grieves Me and makes Me regretful that I have made them.

To regret, as in to be sorry for. To be sorry for something you've done, to regret it, means that it was wrong, a mistake. God felt that He had made a mistake? Genesis 6:6 completely eradicates the idea of an omniscient God.

Wow, that was easy.

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Same things, NIV:

6 The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.

7 So the LORD said, "I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them."

And King James:

6And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

7And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.