Testify!

I woke up in a rural / small city hotel after being suddenly diverted out of town for work, and then I headed downstairs for their free breakfast. In most of my travels I find Fox News on in the breakfast area, but this time it was the 700 Club on the telly. OMFG.

When I walked in there were a man and a woman praying over letters and telling people they were healed by Jesus...yeah, go back to the doctor, and they will tell you you're healed. Then there was a story about an orphaned child in Africa taken in by the ministry mission, and he caught the African "super virus" that was supposed to give a 10-day fever. But they prayed for him and the fever was gone in a day. Hallelujah.

Then they answered a letter from a young boy who was upset that his older sister no longer believed in god. They told him it's not his job to argue with her or pressure her (I'm glad for that much at least), but it was his job to periodically share with her how god helps him in his daily life. That is his testimony, they tell him.

Ah yes, testimony. As the only evidence presentable for the existence of god, testimony is a key element in spreading the word of god. When someone wants to convert you, they ask if they can give your their testimony. Christians give their testimony when speaking in front of a group.

But the way the 700 Club guy presented the instructions stuck a chord with me. The message of testimony is a personal, positive one. Hey, isn't that what I've been whining about in this blog? My failure to promote atheism in a positive manner? Haven't I been wondering how I can do so? Well, here it is: atheist/rational/critical testimony! Through testimony I can provide personal, positive messages about how my reliance on rational and critical thinking and the fruits of the scientific method help me in my daily life.

This is still in the idea phase, but I like it. Possible venues for my testimony include a Twitter account, a blog, and I am toying with the idea of a webcast, only I would want to be anonymous. Tricky, but not impossible. I don't think this blog is the place for such testimony as this is where we come to vent and mock. I need a new, pure, happy place to share my rational testimony.

Pat Robertson the Athiest

I remember growing up seeing the 700 Club on TV. I didn't really get what it was all about until I saw it again as an adult though. I remember seeing Pat sitting there at a news desk reading the news. I actually just happened to be flipping channels and just came across him. Anyway, he was on a news story about some disaster so I stopped to listen. And here was this guy talking about how the gays caused this, and how all these people would still be alive had it not been for the gays. And how we need strict legislation to make gayness illegal, blahblahblah. And I remember thinking... my god, what a fucking freak. THIS is what the 700 Club has been about all these years? Whatever dude.

So it got me thinking. Dawkins says that everyone is an athiest and we're just athiest with one more god than xtians. Well, it made me start thinking that everyone eventually turns athiest. Everyone. Even Pat Robertson. Because everyone's got to eventually die and when they do and discover that there's no god, then they'll have no choice but to convert. And I saw Pat on something a couple weeks ago and man that guy's looking old. He's about to drop dead any second now. And then we can add him to our ranks. Though, as big a freak as he is I'm not sure we want him.

That'll be my new counter. I'm going to start counting converted athiests. Every time one of these staunch xtian assholes dies, I'm going to count another convert to athiesm.
So Pat, step right up and get converted.